Lets put a full stop .

Today, like i said on my last post, I went Oasis Club party. Saloma looked BEAUTIFUL. She's lucky. Saloma said that we should dance, sing. Suddenly, more people came in to dance. It was too crowded. I counldnt see Saloma. We were separated. I got very, very scared. I looked for Saloma but i couldnt find her at all. I immediately left the place and rushed home. I tried calling Saloma but there was no answer. I AM SOOOO RESTLESS NOW ! I am going to dance. YEAHHHH. Lets danceeee. I will take off my clothes and throw things around the rooom. I got naked. Blood started dripping from my hand. My life has got a full stop now and i knew it...

I really cant believe it

Saloma... she was very nice to me. Yesterday, i hit her. I make her cry then i ignored her but she still want to be friends with me. She is very, very nice. I will never be able to find a friend like her. She say that tommorrow we have to go and see doctor together. She is sopp caring. She always think positive. THATS GOOD RIGHT? My parents are sending me to the States to study this coming January. Im scared. I scared the plane would crash. Saloma also told me that i will be free. Like a bird flyingggg. YES! i want to be free. I think she is right! I will be going to the Oasis Club party. I must find very nice clothes. Byeeee

I cant handle itt !!!!!!!!!!

As per normal, i would meet up with Saloma at the void deck. Saloma was really late. I hate waiting for people when they know they are late. I mean, if you dont want to see me just say so. Dont keep me waiting sooooo long! Furthermore, the moment she met me, she asked me if i have taken my medicine or not. I immediately told her that i dont care about anything. About taking medicine to cure and all. Medicine doesnt cure us. It doesnt make us feel anything!! Basically, it only hides our illness!! It wont go away!!! All i need is LOVE & CARE !! Doesnt anybody understand that? Saloma even said that i was controlling her. CONTROLING?! I wasnt controling her !!! I am helping, not controling her! I have always told her that as long as i have her, i dont need anything else. I have already ENJOYED my life. I mean, who doesnt want to enjoy life? EVERYONE wants to. Its just that everything was moving very, very fast. I CANT KEEP UP! Saloma wants to be cured and her life just started. I cant keep up. Why try if you cant? Saloma and i was talking about some things. She told me i have to be strong. But i guess i cant. And soon later, i got hyperventilated. I started hitting Saloma, pulling her hair. She cried but i ignored. I JUST CANT HANDLE IT ALL !!!!!!!

I had no choiceeee

I went to meet up with Saloma at the void deck early in the morning. She said that she went to the police station to report about the robbery. SALOMA?! Went to police station. WOW. She also applied for a job! She wants to act normal but, but she just CANT! Why cant she understand? She's off centre! We are off centre. While we were talking, Razali came. I immediately asked him where he was when the robbery was taking place. I mean, he is OUR guard. He should guard us! He said that he was upstairs with other people. HE'S ALWAYS LOOKING AFTER OTHER PEOPLE. He's our guardian right? But he says that he's just a guard here. Urgh! Then, he left. Soon later, Saloma approached me and told that i have to pray. PRAY?! What for?! God is selfish. He only helps those people is CENTRE! Not us, the OFF-centres. ARGH! I was really angry so i went home. I ignored Saloma. At home, Saloma called me and told me to meet her at the void deck. I told her to just go home and ignore me. I lost my job. Didnt receive any salaries. I DONT CAREEE ANYMOREEEE !!

Three Weeks Passedddd....

My parents are quite annoyed with my decision. I dont understand them! They think i took advantage of their patience. NO WAY! They also want me to continue my studies. They say i got good results and for sure i would be accepted without any problems. They sure or not? I mental patient - they want me? REALLY, sometimes i think they are the crazy ones. Pity them...

1 Week Flew Awayyyy

I hate the silence but i hate the noise too! I was bored so i put on my army boots and look at myself at the mirror - i very handsome. Then i pretended as if i was a soldier, in the army. 'BANG, BANG, BANG' Kill all my enemies! Okay i am tired now. I need to rest. Bye...

Was it a dream or not?

Okay, i woke up and had a headache. I was terribly confused if the thing that happened was a dream or a reality. I could'nt differentiate it. The noise was disturbing my thinking and so i immediately disconnect the phone line, unplugged the radio. I walked to the window, looked out and turned around. Saw my reflection on the mirror. I smiled and it smiled back. I got to go now.

Extremeeeely WEEEEIRD !

WAHH. Something really out of the blue happened. There is this weird girl who is dressed in a surgeon's outfit, complete with gloves, face mask and a surgeon's cap went into my room. I was terribly shocked so i screamed. As loud as possible. The weird girl also screamed. We both screamed. She declared that her name was Emily Gan. This crazy woman kind of know me. WEIRD! Whatever shes telling me according to her is all true. She complimented me of taking care of Saloma. She said i was good and i think so too. She said that she only had 5 minutes with me. Crazy right? She also said that i am beautiful - I am? She took me to Saloma's room in the middle of my dream. Looking at Saloma sleeping, i felt so peaceful. She didnt bother to answer my question but instead she kept on talking abt the meaning of datta, dayadhvam, damyata. Each of them have meanings. Even a person like me can memorise and understand them well. Well done Vinod.

Datta - Give ; to live is to give. No strings attached
Dayadhvam - Sympathise ; not with yourself but with others who are blind
Damyata - Control ; we must accept what life offers but we must also take control of its course

Then, she took my hanger and went off. ISN'T THAT WEIRD? Very,very weird dream that i had last night. Wow. look at the time. Very late already. I need to go off. Goodbye everyone.

What A Day !

HELLO. Gd afternoon to everyone reading my blog. Today, a very suprisingly unbelievable thing happened to me. Its like whoa! Okay, as usual, i went to meet up with Saloma at the void deck. We were talking about staying with each other all the time. She have me. And of course i have her. We can just stay at the void deck and no need to go to the Mcdonalds or even the restaurants. Suddenly, while we were talking, there is a man who ran towards Saloma and grabbed her. Saloma screamed when he took out a knife. I was really, very, very shocked and i froze. The robber was expecting me to do something to help Saloma. Everyone was. But i dont know what to do!!!! I was confused and in the end i screeeeeaaaaaamed. I screamed as loud as i can. The piercing scream scare the robber away. I finally found out a weakness in me. So for now, i need to rest already. Later my eye burst more troublesome. Goodnight people.